Lucky Life Is Like This: Reflections on a Mother's First Year

Well, the day is here--the day my baby turns one year old. Like most parents, I can hardly believe we've arrived so soon, but what a year it has been. The best year of my life--one I never asked for and never knew possible before him. How did I get so lucky?

Looking back, I'm surprised by the enormity of change that occurred. We had a beautiful baby boy at the turn of the year whom we named Isaac Michael--given to him for his father and grandfather's names. We brought our tiny, helpless baby home to our sweet condo tucked upside a mountain and hunkered down through the winter, loving him and hardly noticing how time passed. But pass it did; time moved with haste. Sometimes I'd look up and feel surprised by the date. It was as if a strong gust of wind had pushed us forward without our knowing, stirring the air, filling it with milky love, small cries, bubbly laughter, sweet tears, slobbery kisses. Filling us with pride, wonder, and more love than we'd ever known before. Filling us up. After three months, I returned to work, and Isaac stayed with a couple of women in their home during the days. We left our beloved condo, made two moves, and moved Isaac to a new provider--a better fit--before finally settling into our new home. And all the while, time surged ahead, our baby grew and with him, our love.

On the eve of Isaac's first birthday I pulled out my pregnancy journal, reread my last entry, and mooned over the photos and videos from his birth and of the first days we spent as a new family in the hospital. And I cried. Tears of love, tears of sadness for days gone by. We have all changed so much, mama, daddy and baby alike. But all for the better, I think. Reading the journal entry, it was like I was reading someone else's words. They ringed of hope, anticipation and wonder--with very little knowledge of what the year to come would hold. It's hard to believe I wrote those words just one year ago--wasn't it a lifetime ago?

My first year as a mother was a year of self-discovery. Obviously the year was all about Isaac, but through the days and nights I spent with him, nursing, soothing, loving him, I learned so much about myself. Having my son forced me out of my comfort zone and demanded I be the best possible me I could be in order for him to thrive. So I examined the deepest parts of my soul, some parts I didn't know existed before motherhood, and tried my hardest fill this new role. I'm not perfect, but everyday I'm trying to be the best mama I can be for Isaac.

So now we have a one year old. A beautiful boy with bright almond-shaped eyes, with his daddy's hair, chin and lips, his grandma's eye color, and energy and enthusiasm to spare. One who is currently knocking over stacked blocks with a devilish grin. And Ben and Leah are now better known as Isaac's mom and dad. He's been easy on us, the unsuspecting new parents, and for that I am thankful. I speak for both Ben and myself when I say that our life is so full and so joyful because of Isaac.

Isaac, you have forever changed our lives, you are our whole world. Thank you for choosing us to be your parents, and for showing us love like nothing else.

Happy birthday, Baby Boy. We love you.